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   | I have been on a quest to lose some weight the last few months and have managed to drop 70 lbs. The usual question is what are you doing. I always want to say I just quit drinking for a week,but the truth of the matter is you don’t have to give up everything you like,you just have to cut your portions and eat a massive amount of yogurt. The girls in the office have been trying to convert me to Greek Style Yogurt I have tried but it is akin to eating spackling compound. Consequently I stick with the old stand by of Yoplet Thick and Creamy. The treadmill and I have also become fast friends and I opt for the stairs when available. Here are some of the foods I have been eating: There is also a lot of cheese included with this program,after all we do live in Wisconsin!
Culvers Chicken Caesar
Red Robin BLT
Shrimp Caesar Salad
Clam Bakes
Manggiano’s Mozzarella Marinara
The Martini –A basic food group
Since the Little Ragu had to work and it was a Friday I took Kelly out for fish…her way. We decided to go to the Shanghai Bistro on Craig Rd in Eau Claire for Sushi. When we arrived I couldn’t believe it, we actually had to wait on line to get in. My first thoughts are this must be one great place or else I just woke up from a coma in Illinois. The bar is packed and small but we manage to get a seat and order some cocktails,the bartender is moving at glacial speed and by the time the drinks come the tabled is called. We get a primo table in front of a small jazz combo and a really great waitress. I am getting the vibe that she thinks this is a date so I am not letting this opportunity slip by to have some fun. Kelly has a quick wit and can sling the B-S with the best of them. I proves to be a good evening. The food coming out of the kitchen is looking great and the menu is expansive. We go Makimono and order Rainbow Rolls,New The following week I am back in town and return for more raw fish with the ‘smokin hot chick’. We get the same waitress who remembers exactly what we ordered the previous week;she also tells me I have a very cute girlfriend. We tell her the truth but she doesn’t believe us. WTF – I guess I’ll work the story –she can be my arm candy anytime.
The Big Ragu gives this joint a 4 outa 5
The game plan for the evening is to make it to the Badger B Ball game,however,since they were playing UMKC – I am not even sure what that is,we were not in a hurry to make the tip-off. We decide to go to the Nitty Gritty which is a Madison Institution,hell I used to get hammered here when I was in collage. I opted for the Gritty Burger,which is 6 oz of meat,gritty sauce and a great dark seed bun. Include some frys and peperjack cheese and this is a winner. The other three order the Big Gritt,12 oz of meat,onions,lettuce,cheese,gritty sauce and the great bun,also with frys. It was a busy night and we were upstairs where it is a bit dark,not to mention that we were also slightly tuned. Jan asks our waitress for some BBQ sauce,she complies and is back in a flash. Jan dumps the whole thing on his Big Gritt,slathers it around,and takes a huge bit…he then looks at me and states,“this isn’t BBQ sauce,it’s chocolate sauce”. Just to show you how sick we really are,we all decide to try it and see what it tastes like…it is not good…really not good at all. Five minutes later a fresh Big Gritt arrives and the world is right again,at least for Jan. We make it to the game at half time. A short time later they win. Normally the evening should end here,however,we are not that smart and decide to go to Wandos because it is Tuesday night and on Tuesday evenings they have free bacon. How The Big Ragu gives this evening the Bada Bing Award I believe this originated as one of those pain in the ass emails that always end up in your mailbox on Monday mornings,however,it is entertaining. “If you can read this whole story without laughing then there’s no hope for you. I was crying by the end. Note:Please take time to read this slowly. I’ve read this probably 50 times and it never fails to reduce me to tears of laughter. Hope it does the same for you!!! If you pay attention to the first two judges,the reaction of the third judge is even better. For those of you who have lived in Texas,you know how true this is. They actually have a Chili Cook Off about the time Halloween comes around. It takes up a major portion of a parking lot at the San Antonio City Park. Judge #3 was an inexperienced Chili Taster named Frank,who was visiting from Springfield,IL. Frank:“Recently,I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table asking for directions to the Coors Light truck,when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy and,besides,they told me I could have free beer during the tasting,so I accepted.” Here are the scorecard notes from the event: CHILI # 1 –MIKE’S MANIAC MONSTER CHILI… Judge # 1 —A little too heavy on the tomato. Amusing kick. Judge # 2 –Nice,smooth tomato flavor. Very mild. Judge # 3 (Frank) —Holy shit,what the hell is this stuff? You could remove dried paint from your driveway. Took me two beers to put the flames out. I hope that’s the worst one. These Texans are crazy. ***************************************************** CHILI # 2 –AUSTIN’S AFTERBURNER CHILI… Judge #1 —Smoky,with a hint of pork. Slight jalapeno tang. Judge #2 —Exciting BBQ flavor,needs more peppers to be taken seriously. Judge #3 —Keep this out of the reach of children. I’m not sure what I’m supposed to taste besides pain. I had to wave off two people who wanted to give me the Heimlich maneuver. They had to rush in more beer when they saw the look on my face. ***************************************************** CHILI # 3 –FRED’S FAMOUS BURN DOWN THE BARN CHILI… Judge # 1 —Excellent firehouse chili. Great kick. Judge # 2 —A bit salty,good use of peppers. Judge # 3 —Call the EPA. I’ve located a uranium spill. My nose feels like I have been snorting Drano. Everyone knows the routine by now. Get me more beer before I ignite. Barmaid pounded me on the back,now my backbone is in the front part of my chest. I’m getting shit-faced from all of the beer. ***************************************************** CHILI # 4 –BUBBA’S BLACK MAGIC… Judge # 1 —Black bean chili with almost no spice. Disappointing. Judge # 2 —Hint of lime in the black beans. Good side dish for fish or other mild foods;not much of a chili. Judge # 3 —I felt something scraping across my tongue,but was unable to taste it. Is it possible to burn out taste buds? Sally,the beer maid,was standing behind me with fresh refills. That 300-LB woman is starting to look HOT, just like this nuclear waste I’m eating! Is chili an aphrodisiac? ***************************************************** CHILI # 5 LISA’S LEGAL LIP REMOVER… Judge # 1 —Meaty,strong chili. Cayenne peppers freshly ground,adding considerable kick. Very impressive. Judge # 2 —Chili using shredded beef,could use more tomato. Must admit the cayenne peppers make a strong statement. Judge # 3 —My ears are ringing,sweat is pouring off my forehead and I can no longer focus my eyes. I farted and four people behind me needed paramedics. The contestant seemed offended when I told her that her chili had given me brain damage. Sally saved my tongue from bleeding by pouring beer directly on it from the pitcher. I wonder if I’m burning my lips off. It really pisses me off that the other judges asked me to stop screaming. Screw those rednecks. ***************************************************** CHILI # 6 –VERA’S VERY VEGETARIAN VARIETY… Judge # 1 —Thin yet bold vegetarian variety chili. Good balance of spices and peppers. Judge # 2 —The best yet. Aggressive use of peppers,onions,and garlic. Superb. Judge #3 —My intestines are now a straight pipe filled with gaseous,sulfuric flames. I shit on myself when I farted and I’m worried it will eat through the chair. No one seems inclined to stand behind me except that Sally. Can’t feel my lips anymore. I need to wipe my ass with a snow cone. ***************************************************** CHILI # 7 –SUSAN’S SCREAMING SENSATION CHILI… Judge # 1 —A mediocre chili with too much reliance on canned peppers. Judge # 2 —Ho hum,tastes as if the chef literally threw in a can of chili peppers at the last moment. I should take note that I am worried about. Judge # 3. He appears to be in a bit of distress as he is cursing uncontrollably. Judge # 3 —You could put a grenade in my mouth,pull the pin,and I wouldn’t feel a thing. I’ve lost sight in one eye,and the world sounds like it is made of rushing water. My shirt is covered with chili,which slid unnoticed out of my mouth. My pants are full of lava to match my shirt. At least during the autopsy,they’ll know what killed me. I’ve decided to stop breathing it’s too painful. Screw it;I’m not getting any oxygen anyway. If I need air,I’ll just suck it in through the 4-inch hole in my stomach. ***************************************************** CHILI # 8 –BIG TOM’S TOENAIL CURLING CHILI… Judge # 1 —The perfect ending,this is a nice blend chili. Not too bold but spicy enough to declare its existence. Judge # 2 —This final entry is a good,balanced chili. Neither mild nor hot. Sorry to see that most of it was lost when Judge #3 farted,passed out,fell over and pulled the chili pot down on top of himself. Not sure if he’s going to make it. Poor feller,wonder how he’d have reacted to really hot chili? Judge # 3 –No Report” Bada Bing In all my travels the one thing that always rings true is that you can’t judge a book by its cover. There are certain fact of life as it pertains to men: Most of us like girl on girl porn and most of us like sports where we can inflict damage on each other. In the past I have introduced you to my fraternity brother Jan. He reminds me of myself when I was younger (a somewhat scary thought) and is now mentoring me back into the single life. The process is similar to an athlete who is getting ready for a new season;you need to be in shape. I have been working out and have dropped 68 lbs. The downside to this is my tolerance for martinis had taken a nose-dive,consequently I find it necessary to practice the art of cocktails &cigars on a daily basis. Such is the position I found myself in on the Friday before Halloween. I was in Dousman and trying to decide where to where to go for a fish fry. Apparently ESP is real because I get a call Jan who suggests we call our other brother John in Fond du Lac and meet at the Spinnaker in Oconomowoc for a fry. The text messages start flying and it appears the aforementioned restaurant should be avoided…too many questionable reviews. Jan suggests we go to a Biker Bar called Stolley’s Hogg Alley and do the fish fry. WTF,bikes,bars,booze,women and fish (don’t ask) are always a hit in my book. We get there about six and the joint is packed. There is an empty stool at the bar,Jan checks it out and is told it belongs to Ziggy;I don’t know who the hell Ziggy is but I am pretty damn sure were are not taking his chair. When Ziggy shows up it proves to be a wise choice. John shows up just about the time a primo end spot at the bar opens. We settle in for the show. You just have to walk into this joint to know it’s not a Martini up kind of place so we opt for Vodka,Captain,and shots of Jack. Our Bartender is Brenda (very hot) and as she floats over to bring us a drink the air vent slowly blows her hair giving her the ‘Baywatch’ effect…we turn into puppy dogs and are in love instantly. This is a very interesting crowd;we have a mix of bike people and lake yuppies and a sprinkling of geezers. The common thread is that everyone is having a good time. In the Northwood’s when a stranger walks in the door they all give you that deer in the headlights look. Not true here,everyone is friendly. Our hostess finds us to tell us our table is ready,sadly we tell we need to drink for a while. Since it’s close to Halloween our hostess Anna is dressed like a pirate. Jan opts to call her the Wench and orders her a drink. This only proves the point that it is not what you say but how you say it. 30 minutes later we have a great table and great service. I asked Anna what she thought of the fish fry and she proclaimed it was the best think she ever had in her mouth. Can’t argue with that! Considering this is a small place (seating looks like 40-45) they have a good menu and a kitchen pushing out a lot of food. It is Friday so we all opted for the Fish Fry,which was a deep-fried Beer Battered Cod,with Home Fries,Potato Pancakes,Applesauce and sides of Coleslaw,German Potato Salad and Sourdough Rye Bread. It is also served family style,just what I need to help me drop more weight. The Cod was hot,lightly breaded and flavorful,the fries were good. I particularly liked the German Potato Salad,probably because it was loaded with bacon. You know what they say,either you like bacon or your wrong. Jan and John liked the Potato Pancakes which were pan-fried,however,they were not my favorite part of the meal. I am still in search of the best pancake. At the end of the day it was a very good fry. They also serve other WI favorites like Blue Gill and Walleye. Rumor has it that you have to get there early for the Blue Gill.
The Big Ragu gives this joint a 4 outa 5.
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